I am still getting mailings from my high school that I went to back in the late 30's and early 40's. A few years ago I received a letter from my grade school! I graduated from the eighth grade in 1938. Their letter reminded me that " probably most of the values that I have today were taught to me in St Joseph's School." When I reflected on that statement I must say I agree with that premise. We focused on learning at that school. When we left our home each morning and went off to school our parents were very secure in the fact that we were walking into an institution that would shore up the values that we were being taught at home. School was just an extent ion of the family.
Back in the early 1900's a prominent anthropologist from Yale University traveled around the world to study all of the major cultures of the world. He found that all of the cultures shared the same value system that we do. Values like Courage, Prudence, Perseverance, Self Control, Honesty, Ethics, Morality, Compassion to name some of them. It was determined that the nature of man drives the necessity of values being taught. It has been said that ignorance is man's worst enemy, knowledge is man's only defence against the abuse of power and corruption.Education is the cure for such ignorance as behavioral non-conformity, lack of consideration of others, a knowledge of right and wrong.
We have to start educating and building a value system for people when they are still in their babyhood. We teach them to "share" to say "please,thank you" (consideration for others)They rapidly learn to respond to praise for "good behavior" and to sanctions for "bad behavior." As a teacher of children for 40 years, I could determine which children had a good basic understanding of honesty, self control, courage and so on. The later they start to learn basic values the harder it is to teach them.
In most cases children mirror the values of their parents. I have wondered so many times if the parents and adults in the child's world realize the lessons the child is learning from them. I had a young boy in my class one year that told me they were going to Florida on spring break and it was not going to cost anything. When I asked how this came about he very proudly said ,"Well my dad owns his own business and when we go places he looks at places that are for sale and then he charges the trip to his company because he can say it's a business trip!" Uh.
What messages are the children learning today when they view political ads. Some of them are out and out lies and others lies by innuendo. I am very disheartened. Character assassination is rampant. What value system is that? Fewer and fewer good people will be running for office because of this 'accepted' practice. Then what defense will be put in place to cure the abuses of power and corruption? Who do we hold responsible for this and how do we stop it.?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Phone rage
I have to wonder what things I could have accomplished if I could have utilized the time I've spent trying to tend to business by using the "convenience " of the telephone. I've become very leery of the jaunty, cheery, phony voice that greets the caller with, "Welcome to ..." I swear it is the same man's voice, no matter who you are calling. "Welcome to National City!" Welcome to Insight!", Welcome to AT&T!" " For English, press one, for Espanol press two" then come the choices of presses. All choices connect you to computer voices and more opportunities to 'press numbers. Problem is, none of the choices even remotely address the problem you are calling about.
Fury is futile, scurrilous remarks fall on deaf ears, tears of frustration are wasted and when you do eventually reach a 'press ee' that gives you hope of talking to an actual human being with a pulse, you are put on hold.
"Hold" is a unique method of torture. Elevator and grocery music is delightful compared to 'hold' music. I think when the 'Welcome to... guy answers his first directive should be press a number to say," No "to 'hold' music.
In the unlikely event that you do eventually get a human being on the line, I always feel compelled to ask if they are ,in fact, human. Sometimes I hear a tinge of displeasure in their voice and I am not always able to contain my aggravation at talking finally to a real person. I frequently have to apologize for the fact that when I initiated the call more than two hours ago, I had a purpose in calling but due to the stress of number pressing, making choices, listening to torturous music and managing my anger, I can no longer remember why I was calling!
Life is tough in this tech world!
Fury is futile, scurrilous remarks fall on deaf ears, tears of frustration are wasted and when you do eventually reach a 'press ee' that gives you hope of talking to an actual human being with a pulse, you are put on hold.
"Hold" is a unique method of torture. Elevator and grocery music is delightful compared to 'hold' music. I think when the 'Welcome to... guy answers his first directive should be press a number to say," No "to 'hold' music.
In the unlikely event that you do eventually get a human being on the line, I always feel compelled to ask if they are ,in fact, human. Sometimes I hear a tinge of displeasure in their voice and I am not always able to contain my aggravation at talking finally to a real person. I frequently have to apologize for the fact that when I initiated the call more than two hours ago, I had a purpose in calling but due to the stress of number pressing, making choices, listening to torturous music and managing my anger, I can no longer remember why I was calling!
Life is tough in this tech world!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Reflections
When I was a young child I was afraid of storms. I would hide my head under blankets or even get into a covered space. My mother, however, tried to calm my fears by resorting to her faith. She would take a piece of palm that we had received on Palm Sunday at church and stick it out the window. She assured us that the storm would be over in about ten minutes but meanwhile we could count on the blessed palm for protection. My skepticism went unchallenged. No Noah, or Radar or scientific methods of weather prognostications were available to us. Just rural folklore. We lived through the storms so the palm must have done the trick.
When I had my own children, Mother gave me a lesson in how to be a mother. She said now that I had children of my own I could not let them see me cowering in some corner. She said I needed to be unafraid or at least pretend to be unafraid and thereby show courage to my children so that they would not be fearful. I did as she advised and actually did get to the point where I could reassure them and remain calm during storms. There was no mention of the palm solution. But one time Mike spent a day or two at her house and when he came home he said, " It stormed while I was there but Grandma stucked a plum out the window and the storm stopped pretty soon." Still worked!
I learned that I made many mistakes when I was raising my children. I learned this by observing my children with their children. They had the courage to give their children independence at a much earlier age. When mine were young I carried them out to the car, up the stairs, into their highchair etc.etc. I t was much easier for me because it didn't take as long to get things done. Not so with my grandchildren! It was not as quick but they walked to the car, climbed or crawled up the stairs, struggled into their chair, bed etc.etc.
They were encouraged to wash their own hands, take their own bathes and dress themselves at an early age. Granted sometimes their shirts were on backwards and they did not always have the shoes on the right feet but they did it themselves.
I wonder how my children are seeing their children now that they are grown, married and parents themselves. Whose system of child rearing are they following. Are the grandchildren getting the independence that they got at an early age? Are the grandchildren as well disciplined or organized as their parents? I love being privileged enough to get to see the third generation and watch them grow and blossom into real people!
The thing is, the best way to rear good kids is to set good examples. Give them a road map, so to speak, that will show them how to be brave , polite, generous, moral, and tough. Have fun doing it, too.
When I had my own children, Mother gave me a lesson in how to be a mother. She said now that I had children of my own I could not let them see me cowering in some corner. She said I needed to be unafraid or at least pretend to be unafraid and thereby show courage to my children so that they would not be fearful. I did as she advised and actually did get to the point where I could reassure them and remain calm during storms. There was no mention of the palm solution. But one time Mike spent a day or two at her house and when he came home he said, " It stormed while I was there but Grandma stucked a plum out the window and the storm stopped pretty soon." Still worked!
I learned that I made many mistakes when I was raising my children. I learned this by observing my children with their children. They had the courage to give their children independence at a much earlier age. When mine were young I carried them out to the car, up the stairs, into their highchair etc.etc. I t was much easier for me because it didn't take as long to get things done. Not so with my grandchildren! It was not as quick but they walked to the car, climbed or crawled up the stairs, struggled into their chair, bed etc.etc.
They were encouraged to wash their own hands, take their own bathes and dress themselves at an early age. Granted sometimes their shirts were on backwards and they did not always have the shoes on the right feet but they did it themselves.
I wonder how my children are seeing their children now that they are grown, married and parents themselves. Whose system of child rearing are they following. Are the grandchildren getting the independence that they got at an early age? Are the grandchildren as well disciplined or organized as their parents? I love being privileged enough to get to see the third generation and watch them grow and blossom into real people!
The thing is, the best way to rear good kids is to set good examples. Give them a road map, so to speak, that will show them how to be brave , polite, generous, moral, and tough. Have fun doing it, too.
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