Reflections

When I was a young child I was afraid of storms. I would hide my head under blankets or even get into a covered space. My mother, however, tried to calm my fears by resorting to her faith. She would take a piece of palm that we had received on Palm Sunday at church and stick it out the window. She assured us that the storm would be over in about ten minutes but meanwhile we could count on the blessed palm for protection. My skepticism went unchallenged. No Noah, or Radar or scientific methods of weather prognostications were available to us. Just rural folklore. We lived through the storms so the palm must have done the trick.

When I had my own children, Mother gave me a lesson in how to be a mother. She said now that I had children of my own I could not let them see me cowering in some corner. She said I needed to be unafraid or at least pretend to be unafraid and thereby show courage to my children so that they would not be fearful. I did as she advised and actually did get to the point where I could reassure them and remain calm during storms. There was no mention of the palm solution. But one time Mike spent a day or two at her house and when he came home he said, " It stormed while I was there but Grandma stucked a plum out the window and the storm stopped pretty soon." Still worked!

I learned that I made many mistakes when I was raising my children. I learned this by observing my children with their children. They had the courage to give their children independence at a much earlier age. When mine were young I carried them out to the car, up the stairs, into their highchair etc.etc. I t was much easier for me because it didn't take as long to get things done. Not so with my grandchildren! It was not as quick but they walked to the car, climbed or crawled up the stairs, struggled into their chair, bed etc.etc.
They were encouraged to wash their own hands, take their own bathes and dress themselves at an early age. Granted sometimes their shirts were on backwards and they did not always have the shoes on the right feet but they did it themselves.

I wonder how my children are seeing their children now that they are grown, married and parents themselves. Whose system of child rearing are they following. Are the grandchildren getting the independence that they got at an early age? Are the grandchildren as well disciplined or organized as their parents? I love being privileged enough to get to see the third generation and watch them grow and blossom into real people!

The thing is, the best way to rear good kids is to set good examples. Give them a road map, so to speak, that will show them how to be brave , polite, generous, moral, and tough. Have fun doing it, too.