Once again my computer decided to go ahead and publish whether I was ready or not. Anyway, back in the day, my sister-in-law gave me a favorite formal coat that she did not intend to use anymore. It was beautiful. It was a long black velvet hooded coat that was trimmed in white ermine fur. Gorgeous. I could never have afforded such a regal garment. Doc and I did attend many dances so I could get more use from it than she could. It was probably purchased in about 19 40 or so. Of course, after we married and had children we did not go out as often as we once did and it was only used at New Years. I adored that garment and kept it hanging in my closet just in case we were invited to a formal affair! Not likely but ...
Fashions changed and coats of that type were not used as much or at all in the 1960's and 70's It was way too formal for the Hippie era and the Grunge era and the more casual living style of the 70's and 80's. So my beautiful coat just hung out in my closet. I would get it out now and then just to see if I could still fit into it. It was form fitting and I made an effort to keep my "form".
Believe it or not, drunk driving did not get as much attention in those days.When the stats started piling up about the big problems that alcohol and driving were causing there were many awareness programs launched to emphasise the problem and call attention to it. Also, about that time I realized that all six of my children were grown up and I had no one to help plan a costume for, for Trick or Treat night. I decided I would dress myself up and go Trick or Treating here in my own neighbor hood.
I had an old skeleton mask left over from my past days with my own kids so I utilized that and made a costume of my own. I put on the loved velvet coat and pulled the hood up all the way to cover all but my skeleton face mask. I put on my white cotton gloves, which we all wore in those days,and donned black sox and shoes and looked through my cupboards to find a stemmed cocktail glass, one that might have held a martini at one time or another.I had the PERFECT outfit and one that made a statement that I wished to promote. Voila!
I went to my neighbors' doors and stood silently with the cocktail glass extended to get my message across. It was so much fun and took many of them a few minutes to figure just who was crazy enough to come trick or treating in that 'get up'. I looked very much like "death".
I did this for a year or so and finally one year Karen asked me to come out to her house and go to her next door neighbor's house. I did and Toots seemed to enjoy it a lot and after we visited for awhile, she suggested I go across the street to another neighbor's where a party was in full swing. The neighbor just happened to be the Jefferson County Coroner.
Karen and I went over and she went to the right of his front doorstep into the bushes and hid so that he could not see her. I rang the door bell and he answered the door. I held my cocktail glass out to him and just stood there mute as he kept laughing and saying ,"Who are you?" He finally yelled to his party friends and said, "You've got to see this! Come in here." They gathered around and laughed and starting guessing my identity. He went into the kitchen and brought in a bottle of "Wild Turkey" and poured some into my glass and said ,"Now, you have to let us see who you are." Lots of laughter going on.
Just as I started to remove my mask, Karen came out of the bushes and said, "Lloyd, I want you to meet my mother.!" He had never laid eyes on me before nor had I ever seen him. He was so shocked and so were his friends, none of whom I had met either. He couldn't believe he had given a shot of Wild Turkey to a total stranger dressed up as death. It was so much fun! I still remember the look on his face when I took that mask off. Fun, fun, fun.
I used the costume a few years after that one, for Halloween, but never again did it have the shock value that it did that year. The lovely coat deteriorated more and more each year until it became so fragile it could not be worn again. Some of my friends and family members still remember the fun I had with that costume. Happy Halloween. Ciao
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Hair
Yesterday was a great day for me because Andrea 'did' my hair! One of the underlying causes of my distress about my experience with the radiation was the fact that my hair was in such a dreadful state. We were unable to put any chemicals on my head until now. I am conscious at all times of my hair. In my whole lifetime it has been part of what defines me.
As a child I was often the topic of conversation because of my hair. Both my parents and grandparents and aunts , uncles, cousins et al had brown hair. My siblings had dark hair also. The question was posed by many,"Where did she get her red hair?" I grew to expect it and to ignore it, because there was no answer that would satisfy anyone. Actually, in recent times there have been articles published about the fact that natural red hair has become more and more rare because people of different nationalities marry. Both my parents were of Irish descent and the Irish people tend to be fair haired, and have fair skin and freckles.The bane of my existence.
The boys that I grew up with and went to school with, delighted in making fun of me and taunting me. "Red head, gingerbread, stumbled over a cabbage head!" Try that in a school yard
sing song voice and you'll get an idea of their ideas of humor. They would follow behind me and chant that and other obnoxious songs and statements. "Red on the head, freckles on the nose..." I learned to slug it out with the gang early on.
I was always pointed out by my description, "The one with red hair and freckles" that wasn't too bad but one of my cousins described me as, The ugly one with red hair and freckles. I was not unhappy to hear that he did not amount to much when he grew up!
Why are blonds and red heads singled out so often? Who hasn't heard a 'dumb blond' joke and who hasn't at one time or another heard about the Red Head's temper. Just about three years ago, I was approached in the grocery store by an old man who said, "Are you feisty? I'll bet you are with that red hair.!" (Now artfully colored by Andrea).
When I first started to get some silver threads among the gold, the hair dresser I had at that time suggested that I let her color my hair. I did. When I got home from my trip to the hairdresser's. Doc greeted me by saying, "Now, that's the way you're supposed to look!" He liked it and encouraged me to continue coloring it. He still liked my red hair even if it was enhanced.
As I grew older and had children and surgeries and potent medications, my curls disappeared and so did a lot of my hair. When women grow older they lose some of the hair on their heads and grow some on their chins. Men lose it from their heads and grow it in their ears !
As my hair has become more sparse I try my best to cover the almost bare spots, I am very conscious of them and am turned off by them, so knowing that I was going to lose even more hair due to the radiation I have been kinda' depressed. The hair that formerly grew in the area of the cancerous tumor has gone for good and will not return because of the rays. I have to learn to live with a 'Donald Trump' hair-do. My hair is so fine that when I go outside the slightest puff of wind destroys my 'do'.
It sounds like I am very fain about my hair but just the opposite is true. I try to do the best I can with what I have to work with. I'd love to have a full head of hair. I see the shampoo ads on TV and watch the flowing, swishing, glorious hair of the models and wonder what it would be like to have that much hair. I guess I could be like Dolly Parton and have a variety of wigs or like Caed O'Connal and shave my head or get a burr. (Now there's a scary thought !) but ...
In this morning's paper one of the columnists wrote about the plight of many people that have unmanageable hair and spend many years of their life trying to find some solution to their problem and I do realize that I'd rather have my wimpy hair than what they have to work with so I'll quit complaining. Hair today and gone tomorrow. Hats are the answer! My hat's off to Andrea, she is a wizard when it comes to my hair. Ciao
As a child I was often the topic of conversation because of my hair. Both my parents and grandparents and aunts , uncles, cousins et al had brown hair. My siblings had dark hair also. The question was posed by many,"Where did she get her red hair?" I grew to expect it and to ignore it, because there was no answer that would satisfy anyone. Actually, in recent times there have been articles published about the fact that natural red hair has become more and more rare because people of different nationalities marry. Both my parents were of Irish descent and the Irish people tend to be fair haired, and have fair skin and freckles.The bane of my existence.
The boys that I grew up with and went to school with, delighted in making fun of me and taunting me. "Red head, gingerbread, stumbled over a cabbage head!" Try that in a school yard
sing song voice and you'll get an idea of their ideas of humor. They would follow behind me and chant that and other obnoxious songs and statements. "Red on the head, freckles on the nose..." I learned to slug it out with the gang early on.
I was always pointed out by my description, "The one with red hair and freckles" that wasn't too bad but one of my cousins described me as, The ugly one with red hair and freckles. I was not unhappy to hear that he did not amount to much when he grew up!
Why are blonds and red heads singled out so often? Who hasn't heard a 'dumb blond' joke and who hasn't at one time or another heard about the Red Head's temper. Just about three years ago, I was approached in the grocery store by an old man who said, "Are you feisty? I'll bet you are with that red hair.!" (Now artfully colored by Andrea).
When I first started to get some silver threads among the gold, the hair dresser I had at that time suggested that I let her color my hair. I did. When I got home from my trip to the hairdresser's. Doc greeted me by saying, "Now, that's the way you're supposed to look!" He liked it and encouraged me to continue coloring it. He still liked my red hair even if it was enhanced.
As I grew older and had children and surgeries and potent medications, my curls disappeared and so did a lot of my hair. When women grow older they lose some of the hair on their heads and grow some on their chins. Men lose it from their heads and grow it in their ears !
As my hair has become more sparse I try my best to cover the almost bare spots, I am very conscious of them and am turned off by them, so knowing that I was going to lose even more hair due to the radiation I have been kinda' depressed. The hair that formerly grew in the area of the cancerous tumor has gone for good and will not return because of the rays. I have to learn to live with a 'Donald Trump' hair-do. My hair is so fine that when I go outside the slightest puff of wind destroys my 'do'.
It sounds like I am very fain about my hair but just the opposite is true. I try to do the best I can with what I have to work with. I'd love to have a full head of hair. I see the shampoo ads on TV and watch the flowing, swishing, glorious hair of the models and wonder what it would be like to have that much hair. I guess I could be like Dolly Parton and have a variety of wigs or like Caed O'Connal and shave my head or get a burr. (Now there's a scary thought !) but ...
In this morning's paper one of the columnists wrote about the plight of many people that have unmanageable hair and spend many years of their life trying to find some solution to their problem and I do realize that I'd rather have my wimpy hair than what they have to work with so I'll quit complaining. Hair today and gone tomorrow. Hats are the answer! My hat's off to Andrea, she is a wizard when it comes to my hair. Ciao
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The View from Betty's Head
Every day I spend the early part of the day perusing the daily paper. I am well aware that it is not a top quality paper and that many subscribers have stopped taking the paper because of its diminished content of substance. I never the less read it because it's part of my routine. I have written before about the fact that my father read select articles aloud to all of us each day and we had discussions about the articles. It was an integral part of my education.
We went from having one of the nation's leading news papers, when the Binghams owned the paper, to having one of the nation's worst papers when Gannett took over. It is just a bit above USA Today with the Mc News. I am not defending my insistence on still reading the paper, I am rather trying to explain my dereliction in not abandoning this inferior paper.
The day is not complete until I have read the Op Ed page. It gets my ire or dander or whatever, up and running. I read the letters and wonder sometimes where these people live or what they do in life. Are they hampered at all by their lack of comprehension? Do they function as responsible human beings? Do they live in caves? Where did they go to school? Notice that I did not say where did they get their education because the one's I am referring to never got an education.
Now the above comments came from my view because these letter writers do not agree with my take on things. I have noticed that many of them have found the surest way to get published by writing:" Dear Sir I know you will not print this letter because you are so...ya da ya da ya da." Sure fire way to get in print. They view things from some other realm.
About forty years ago, Doc was working in Quality Control at Standard Gravuer and I was teaching dyslexic children to read and Linda was a dental assistant. Brian remarked one day that everywhere we went Doc talked about the quality of the color in the magazines and other printed matter, I diagnosed everybody as being hyperkenetic or dyslexic and Linda diagnosed dental problems that people left untreated. Good observation from an eight year old.
I realize we all make our judgements by our own standards and our own experiences. I read constantly and base a lot of my opinions on what I have read but I mix some of the ideas with the ones' already in my head and try to come up with intelligent assessments. I must say that some of the letters that cause my blood to boil are the ones that are given by non-thinkers.
If I'd cancel the paper how would I stir my brains up and get going for the day? Ciao
We went from having one of the nation's leading news papers, when the Binghams owned the paper, to having one of the nation's worst papers when Gannett took over. It is just a bit above USA Today with the Mc News. I am not defending my insistence on still reading the paper, I am rather trying to explain my dereliction in not abandoning this inferior paper.
The day is not complete until I have read the Op Ed page. It gets my ire or dander or whatever, up and running. I read the letters and wonder sometimes where these people live or what they do in life. Are they hampered at all by their lack of comprehension? Do they function as responsible human beings? Do they live in caves? Where did they go to school? Notice that I did not say where did they get their education because the one's I am referring to never got an education.
Now the above comments came from my view because these letter writers do not agree with my take on things. I have noticed that many of them have found the surest way to get published by writing:" Dear Sir I know you will not print this letter because you are so...ya da ya da ya da." Sure fire way to get in print. They view things from some other realm.
About forty years ago, Doc was working in Quality Control at Standard Gravuer and I was teaching dyslexic children to read and Linda was a dental assistant. Brian remarked one day that everywhere we went Doc talked about the quality of the color in the magazines and other printed matter, I diagnosed everybody as being hyperkenetic or dyslexic and Linda diagnosed dental problems that people left untreated. Good observation from an eight year old.
I realize we all make our judgements by our own standards and our own experiences. I read constantly and base a lot of my opinions on what I have read but I mix some of the ideas with the ones' already in my head and try to come up with intelligent assessments. I must say that some of the letters that cause my blood to boil are the ones that are given by non-thinkers.
If I'd cancel the paper how would I stir my brains up and get going for the day? Ciao
Sunday, October 25, 2009
You Name It
Once again the computer wins! I typed the title that I was going to use for this entry and when I looked up it said, " you published successfully." Huh? Who did that?Then while I was striving to understand this action it did it again! Rats!
Anyway, this is the most beautiful time of the year! Except when the dogwoods and tulips are in bloom or when there is a fresh newly fallen white snow on the ground, roofs , trees and everything else or when summer skies turn black, grey and ominous and dump tons of water on us amid flashing lightning and thunderous thunder. It is awesome to say the least.
I went out today and each street I turned on to was a blaze of colors. Bright red, muted red, orange, yellow and green. The burning bushes are glorious, so also the maple trees and the dogwoods. I love to walk when the leaves are swirling around my ankles and crunching under foot. I went to Paul's Fruit Market and it was filled with huge and tiny pumpkins, purple and bright yellow pansys, jugs of cider, lots of apples and squash, jars of candy corn and popcorn balls, it was all so festive and fall-ish. It will soon be replaced with Christmas trees, garlands of greenery and nuts and fruits of Christmas, fruit cakes, jam cakes, cranberries and candy canes. The orange and black of today will be nudged aside by the red and green of tomorrow. Time flies.
My radiated spot on my head is still very tender and sore. It continued to get more and more painful after the cessation of the radiation but it is now showing signs of improvement. I have my Donald Trump hair do worked out for now and will await some hair growth in the near future. It will not grow back where the main treatment was aimed but the surrounding area may return. I'll be looking forward to it. Maybe by Christmas I'll have a batch of new hair. Would'nt that be loverly? Ciao
Anyway, this is the most beautiful time of the year! Except when the dogwoods and tulips are in bloom or when there is a fresh newly fallen white snow on the ground, roofs , trees and everything else or when summer skies turn black, grey and ominous and dump tons of water on us amid flashing lightning and thunderous thunder. It is awesome to say the least.
I went out today and each street I turned on to was a blaze of colors. Bright red, muted red, orange, yellow and green. The burning bushes are glorious, so also the maple trees and the dogwoods. I love to walk when the leaves are swirling around my ankles and crunching under foot. I went to Paul's Fruit Market and it was filled with huge and tiny pumpkins, purple and bright yellow pansys, jugs of cider, lots of apples and squash, jars of candy corn and popcorn balls, it was all so festive and fall-ish. It will soon be replaced with Christmas trees, garlands of greenery and nuts and fruits of Christmas, fruit cakes, jam cakes, cranberries and candy canes. The orange and black of today will be nudged aside by the red and green of tomorrow. Time flies.
My radiated spot on my head is still very tender and sore. It continued to get more and more painful after the cessation of the radiation but it is now showing signs of improvement. I have my Donald Trump hair do worked out for now and will await some hair growth in the near future. It will not grow back where the main treatment was aimed but the surrounding area may return. I'll be looking forward to it. Maybe by Christmas I'll have a batch of new hair. Would'nt that be loverly? Ciao
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Hiatus
Soon after I wrote my blog on Friday the 8th my computer decided to quit getting on the Internet. Gregg worked on it for a long time but it did not respond well. It would pretend to be fixed and then refuse to publish and then it would not go to the Internet. I have written all of the happenings since the 8th in my Journal. I will copy my account of the past six or seven days from my Journal because I wrote those notes with feelings that were current at the time of writing. So here goes.
I wrote last, about my Friday treatment which was my eighteenth. It was fairly routine but still hard for me because I have not yet gotten completely over the dread of being locked down to the table in that odious mask.
The relief of knowing that I had Saturday and Sunday free and then just two treatments to face on Monday and Tuesday buoyed my spirits somewhat. The pain has increased as the days go by. Sometimes there is an absolute piercing pain that lasts a few seconds and then settles down to a dull ache. My hair has caused me much distress. It is so filled with the gel type substance that is spread on the area each day and nothing can be done about it. I cannot get that area wet nor can I disturb the blue markings that outline the area of my head to be radiated. I have become very attached to my hats and 4x4 gauze pads.
When I went in for the treatment on Monday, I went with a feeling of peace because I knew the end was in sight. At the end of the treatment, I was unbuckled from the table and after they removed the mask I gave a sigh of relief and remarked, "Tomorrow is my last treatment!"
"Oh no, no," Jennifer said, "you have three more treatments to go. This was just your seventeenth."
I protested stubbornly and kept insisting that it was my nineteenth. She finished cleaning me up and placing the gauze on the wound and then took me out to her station and showed me my records. She showed me the prescription written by Dr. Wharton that called for 20 treatments and then showed me my chart that they had kept on my progress. The last entry for me said "17th treatment" and with today's entry it would be the 18th, indicating that I had two more to go. I was devastated! Especially since I KNEW that it was the 19th treatment!
I had convinced myself that I could tolerate one more encounter with the mask and now they were saying I had two more to go. I was so depressed and down and dispirited that I could hardly stand it. I went home and tried to sleep as much as I could so I could quit obsessing about it. At this point in the ordeal I had reached the point of total fatigue. I was so exhausted and tired of trying to keep a good attitude and all I wanted to do was cry.
On Tuesday Brian took me and unfortunately I had my melt down on the trip up there. I ranted and raved about the mess and disorder in the house, I whined about the pain and discomfort and the unfairness of the fact that I had to go again the next day when I thought I was finished, I had lots of pity for me and I really let it all out. He finally asked if I would like to trade with him. I know he is still struggling to get his house back in order from the fire he had last spring and he is facing surgery for a double hernia and he was coughing with a heavy cold. I agreed that I didn't want to trade. I know you should look about when you are feeling down and out!
When I went into the chamber to prepare for the treatmenton Tuesday Jennifer said she thought the doctor should look at the site before we began because she thought I might have an infected area. She left to get my doctor and returned shortly saying that he was with a patient in the hospital and could not see me till later. She left again to see if she could get one of his associates to look at me. She was gone a long time, that time and she finally came back in with a doctor. He looked closely at my head and said no, it looked OK to him. He then leaned down to me and put his hand on my knee and very gently, quietly said, "...and you are right, this IS your last treatment!" I promptly said that it was no surprise to me, that I was right! He laughed and Jennifer handed me my graduation from therapy certificate and a bag of Hershey Hugs and Kisses. He hugged me, too and then left us to the business at hand. Afterwards, I met with my doctor and I have to go back to see him in two weeks. HE knew it was my 20th treatment.
I had rewarded myself with a new pair of shoes, my first new shoes in way more than a year, and even though I thought I was going to have to have an extra few treatments I had worn my shoes for my own private celebration! They are so cute!
I will write more tomorrow because I must give the after affects of the whole ordeal. I am already getting some of my energy back and I expect to continue to improve. Ciao,ciao
I wrote last, about my Friday treatment which was my eighteenth. It was fairly routine but still hard for me because I have not yet gotten completely over the dread of being locked down to the table in that odious mask.
The relief of knowing that I had Saturday and Sunday free and then just two treatments to face on Monday and Tuesday buoyed my spirits somewhat. The pain has increased as the days go by. Sometimes there is an absolute piercing pain that lasts a few seconds and then settles down to a dull ache. My hair has caused me much distress. It is so filled with the gel type substance that is spread on the area each day and nothing can be done about it. I cannot get that area wet nor can I disturb the blue markings that outline the area of my head to be radiated. I have become very attached to my hats and 4x4 gauze pads.
When I went in for the treatment on Monday, I went with a feeling of peace because I knew the end was in sight. At the end of the treatment, I was unbuckled from the table and after they removed the mask I gave a sigh of relief and remarked, "Tomorrow is my last treatment!"
"Oh no, no," Jennifer said, "you have three more treatments to go. This was just your seventeenth."
I protested stubbornly and kept insisting that it was my nineteenth. She finished cleaning me up and placing the gauze on the wound and then took me out to her station and showed me my records. She showed me the prescription written by Dr. Wharton that called for 20 treatments and then showed me my chart that they had kept on my progress. The last entry for me said "17th treatment" and with today's entry it would be the 18th, indicating that I had two more to go. I was devastated! Especially since I KNEW that it was the 19th treatment!
I had convinced myself that I could tolerate one more encounter with the mask and now they were saying I had two more to go. I was so depressed and down and dispirited that I could hardly stand it. I went home and tried to sleep as much as I could so I could quit obsessing about it. At this point in the ordeal I had reached the point of total fatigue. I was so exhausted and tired of trying to keep a good attitude and all I wanted to do was cry.
On Tuesday Brian took me and unfortunately I had my melt down on the trip up there. I ranted and raved about the mess and disorder in the house, I whined about the pain and discomfort and the unfairness of the fact that I had to go again the next day when I thought I was finished, I had lots of pity for me and I really let it all out. He finally asked if I would like to trade with him. I know he is still struggling to get his house back in order from the fire he had last spring and he is facing surgery for a double hernia and he was coughing with a heavy cold. I agreed that I didn't want to trade. I know you should look about when you are feeling down and out!
When I went into the chamber to prepare for the treatmenton Tuesday Jennifer said she thought the doctor should look at the site before we began because she thought I might have an infected area. She left to get my doctor and returned shortly saying that he was with a patient in the hospital and could not see me till later. She left again to see if she could get one of his associates to look at me. She was gone a long time, that time and she finally came back in with a doctor. He looked closely at my head and said no, it looked OK to him. He then leaned down to me and put his hand on my knee and very gently, quietly said, "...and you are right, this IS your last treatment!" I promptly said that it was no surprise to me, that I was right! He laughed and Jennifer handed me my graduation from therapy certificate and a bag of Hershey Hugs and Kisses. He hugged me, too and then left us to the business at hand. Afterwards, I met with my doctor and I have to go back to see him in two weeks. HE knew it was my 20th treatment.
I had rewarded myself with a new pair of shoes, my first new shoes in way more than a year, and even though I thought I was going to have to have an extra few treatments I had worn my shoes for my own private celebration! They are so cute!
I will write more tomorrow because I must give the after affects of the whole ordeal. I am already getting some of my energy back and I expect to continue to improve. Ciao,ciao
Hello hello! testing
I have written three or four blogs in the past few days and they all float off into cyber space, so I am testing this to see if it will publish. Grrrrrr.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thursday Again
We are still having patient appreciation week. Today there were baskets of peanut butter crackers, individually wrapped home made cookies, and miniature boxes of raisins. There was quite a mob of people in the waiting room . Some people I had never seen before. We had a very long wait.
They finally called me in to see the doctor. My doctor is on vacation this week so I had to see his associate. They take my blood pressure, temperature, and weigh me before I chat with him.
Seems all is well. He said it looks fine, (yuck)
After the visit with the doctor I was called back for my treatment. It was almost one hour late. They have been 5 or 10 minutes late before but never this late. Karen was a little on edge because she had an appointment at 12 noon and we were getting closer and closer to that time. While I was getting my treatment she called and told them she would be late. Very stressful.
The tech was very apologetic about being so late but she explained that they had a patient that was having a really hard time with the procedure since it was his/her first time. They had to work with the person until they could work it out. I guess I wasn't so bad after all ,on my first visit. It is a traumatic event and it is wonderful that they take as much time as it takes to help the patient deal with it. They are so kind and patient and well suited for the job.
My session went off with out a hitch and I am happy to have one more over with. I have tomorrow and then Monday and Tuesday to go yet. Ciao
They finally called me in to see the doctor. My doctor is on vacation this week so I had to see his associate. They take my blood pressure, temperature, and weigh me before I chat with him.
Seems all is well. He said it looks fine, (yuck)
After the visit with the doctor I was called back for my treatment. It was almost one hour late. They have been 5 or 10 minutes late before but never this late. Karen was a little on edge because she had an appointment at 12 noon and we were getting closer and closer to that time. While I was getting my treatment she called and told them she would be late. Very stressful.
The tech was very apologetic about being so late but she explained that they had a patient that was having a really hard time with the procedure since it was his/her first time. They had to work with the person until they could work it out. I guess I wasn't so bad after all ,on my first visit. It is a traumatic event and it is wonderful that they take as much time as it takes to help the patient deal with it. They are so kind and patient and well suited for the job.
My session went off with out a hitch and I am happy to have one more over with. I have tomorrow and then Monday and Tuesday to go yet. Ciao
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Hump Day
When I started this adventure, it was very warm and humid. We had to take a sweater or jacket to wear inside the facility but could shed them on the way out. Now, since time has moved on, it is now quite chilly when we leave the house and a jacket is advisable. We've moved from late summer into fall.
The radiology lab people have decided to honor us with an appreciation week. On Monday I think I mentioned that they had bags of popcorn around the waiting room, Yesterday, they had 'trick or treat' pumpkins sitting around with packets of candy corn, small Heath Bars and Kit Kats in them. Today they had cocktail wieners in barby-cue sauce, a fruit selection, melon chunks, strawberries and pineapple chunks and a yummy cinnamon pastry. Very nice!
I went down for my treatment and along with Jennifer they had another tech (male) who had on red scrubs. I don't recall ever seeing red scrubs, other than the time a few years ago when I had had morphine to ease my pain and I thought the night male nurse had on a red sequined scrub suit. Clearly that was an hallucination. Anyway, this guy was not attuned to my idiosyncrasies and came at me with the mask using a jovial voice and forcing the mask on me and saying," Here we go!' I , once again, felt that I was going to freak out. Jennifer quickly grabbed the mask off and said, in a soothing voice, "Just relax and let me know when you are ready.When I said, "I'm OK now." She put the mask on and we proceeded with the treatment. It did seem much longer but I'm sure it was not. I was so relieved when they unlocked the mask. I took a few deep breaths and then sat up. She made me sit there for awhile while she cleaned up the sight and placed the 4x4 gauze on me and I was OK. I thought I was getting used to the mask but apparently not. Four more days!!! Ciao
The radiology lab people have decided to honor us with an appreciation week. On Monday I think I mentioned that they had bags of popcorn around the waiting room, Yesterday, they had 'trick or treat' pumpkins sitting around with packets of candy corn, small Heath Bars and Kit Kats in them. Today they had cocktail wieners in barby-cue sauce, a fruit selection, melon chunks, strawberries and pineapple chunks and a yummy cinnamon pastry. Very nice!
I went down for my treatment and along with Jennifer they had another tech (male) who had on red scrubs. I don't recall ever seeing red scrubs, other than the time a few years ago when I had had morphine to ease my pain and I thought the night male nurse had on a red sequined scrub suit. Clearly that was an hallucination. Anyway, this guy was not attuned to my idiosyncrasies and came at me with the mask using a jovial voice and forcing the mask on me and saying," Here we go!' I , once again, felt that I was going to freak out. Jennifer quickly grabbed the mask off and said, in a soothing voice, "Just relax and let me know when you are ready.When I said, "I'm OK now." She put the mask on and we proceeded with the treatment. It did seem much longer but I'm sure it was not. I was so relieved when they unlocked the mask. I took a few deep breaths and then sat up. She made me sit there for awhile while she cleaned up the sight and placed the 4x4 gauze on me and I was OK. I thought I was getting used to the mask but apparently not. Four more days!!! Ciao
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Home Stretch
Today was not quite as good as yesterday but it was tolerable. Jennifer took the mask off shortly after putting it on because she said she has learned to read my body language. She put it back on and it was much more comfortable so we went with it.
I'm sure you have all seen that commercial that Sally Field does for Osteoporosis medication? She proclaims in a "Boy, did I ever get gypped" tone of voice...'I have this one body." As if the rest of us had a few spare bodies. We adjusted early on to the fact that we had just one body. We learn to depend on this one body to last us until death doth us part and for many years for most of us it does not let us down. We have complete faith in our bodies as a way of communicating.
We focus on teaching children to read at a very early age but along with teaching them to read the written word we should also be teaching then to "read" body language. It could make them have a much more peaceful life. It comes naturally to many people but some people just don't get it! I'm glad Jennifer can 'read' body language. Otherwise, I would have had a difficult time not freaking out.
Usually when the treatment begins, I lie down on the table and other than worrying about the torture mask and tensing up over that , I feel fine but when the treatment is over and I sit up I am shaky and light headed. Some days are worse than others, the fatigue takes effect almost immediately. Today, I was very tired and had to take some deep breaths to get up the energy to get off the table and prepare to leave. They always let me sit there for a minute while they clean up the site a little and put the 4 x 4 patch of gauze on my head and then I get off the table and put my hat and glasses on. The walk back up to the waiting room seems much longer than it seemed coming down. I had energy yesterday but not so today. I made it into the car and home and then have spent most of the day sitting and watching TV or reading. Ho Hum! Ciao
I'm sure you have all seen that commercial that Sally Field does for Osteoporosis medication? She proclaims in a "Boy, did I ever get gypped" tone of voice...'I have this one body." As if the rest of us had a few spare bodies. We adjusted early on to the fact that we had just one body. We learn to depend on this one body to last us until death doth us part and for many years for most of us it does not let us down. We have complete faith in our bodies as a way of communicating.
We focus on teaching children to read at a very early age but along with teaching them to read the written word we should also be teaching then to "read" body language. It could make them have a much more peaceful life. It comes naturally to many people but some people just don't get it! I'm glad Jennifer can 'read' body language. Otherwise, I would have had a difficult time not freaking out.
Usually when the treatment begins, I lie down on the table and other than worrying about the torture mask and tensing up over that , I feel fine but when the treatment is over and I sit up I am shaky and light headed. Some days are worse than others, the fatigue takes effect almost immediately. Today, I was very tired and had to take some deep breaths to get up the energy to get off the table and prepare to leave. They always let me sit there for a minute while they clean up the site a little and put the 4 x 4 patch of gauze on my head and then I get off the table and put my hat and glasses on. The walk back up to the waiting room seems much longer than it seemed coming down. I had energy yesterday but not so today. I made it into the car and home and then have spent most of the day sitting and watching TV or reading. Ho Hum! Ciao
Monday, October 5, 2009
Good Day!
Today was one of the better days I've had since Sept. 8. It could well be because I slept for eight hours last night. That rarely happens. My two days of recovery from last week's treatments must have done the trick.
I went to the hospital at 10:25 and they were ready for me at 10:30. I didn't even sit down. They had bags of popcorn a stack of napkins and the usual coffee pots brewing for the people that are waiting in the waiting room for their family members. Isn't 10:00 AM a little early for popcorn?
Anyway, the mask went on easily today (whew) and they had the site prepared and had me locked down and said we were ready to go. They left the room but came back quickly and said they needed to make one more adjustment. O.K. They did that and left again and the routine started and before long it was over and they were back unbuckling me. Very smooth for me this time.
Maybe the next six will go as smoothly as that one did! Ya' think?
I came home and found that I had enough energy to clean up a lot of my plants on the deck and bring them into their winter home. It is getting cooler and cooler and they are predicting weather as low as the 30's by next week so I thought I'd get the plants in while I felt up to it.
I really enjoyed the day.
We'll see how the rest of the week goes. Caio
I went to the hospital at 10:25 and they were ready for me at 10:30. I didn't even sit down. They had bags of popcorn a stack of napkins and the usual coffee pots brewing for the people that are waiting in the waiting room for their family members. Isn't 10:00 AM a little early for popcorn?
Anyway, the mask went on easily today (whew) and they had the site prepared and had me locked down and said we were ready to go. They left the room but came back quickly and said they needed to make one more adjustment. O.K. They did that and left again and the routine started and before long it was over and they were back unbuckling me. Very smooth for me this time.
Maybe the next six will go as smoothly as that one did! Ya' think?
I came home and found that I had enough energy to clean up a lot of my plants on the deck and bring them into their winter home. It is getting cooler and cooler and they are predicting weather as low as the 30's by next week so I thought I'd get the plants in while I felt up to it.
I really enjoyed the day.
We'll see how the rest of the week goes. Caio
Friday, October 2, 2009
Early Morning Grumps
I did not have a very good day today. I woke up very early and I knew already that I was tired. My stomach hurt and my headache was much worse and I didn't want to get out of bed. It was only 5 AM but I made myself get up and get in the shower and put on fresh clothes and then I ran a few loads of clothes in the washer and went back to bed. I stayed in bed watching the Today Show until about 8:30 and then I got up again and had some breakfast. Still extremely tired, still with a stomach ache and still with a head ache.
Brian took me to the Radiation Center and as usual it was freezing cold in there. It took them a little longer than usual to prepare me for the treatment but it all worked out OK. They kept reminding me that I had two days rest coming up and that really did make me feel not as "put upon." I was very shaky when I got off the table and had to be helped up the ramp. Jennifer felt that she should have gotten the wheel chair for me but I assured her I was fine...well maybe not fine but with a little help from Brian I got to the car and then came home. I got back on the bed and stayed there for two or three hours.
Jane came to visit and bring me some easy food to fix for my dinner. We ate some cheese and crackers and raspberry tea for lunch and visited for quite awhile. I felt better as time went on, not quite so fatigued..I enjoyed her visit. We ventured out for awhile to go to Krogers and pick up my prescription.
I am on my way to bed again now, and hope that I can regain some of my energy . Next treatment report will be on Monday. I hope I can also regain a better attitude by then. Ciao
Brian took me to the Radiation Center and as usual it was freezing cold in there. It took them a little longer than usual to prepare me for the treatment but it all worked out OK. They kept reminding me that I had two days rest coming up and that really did make me feel not as "put upon." I was very shaky when I got off the table and had to be helped up the ramp. Jennifer felt that she should have gotten the wheel chair for me but I assured her I was fine...well maybe not fine but with a little help from Brian I got to the car and then came home. I got back on the bed and stayed there for two or three hours.
Jane came to visit and bring me some easy food to fix for my dinner. We ate some cheese and crackers and raspberry tea for lunch and visited for quite awhile. I felt better as time went on, not quite so fatigued..I enjoyed her visit. We ventured out for awhile to go to Krogers and pick up my prescription.
I am on my way to bed again now, and hope that I can regain some of my energy . Next treatment report will be on Monday. I hope I can also regain a better attitude by then. Ciao
Thursday, October 1, 2009
# 11
When I was growing up there were two medical terms that were totally unheard of by the general population. One of them was "allergy". No one had, or spoke of allergies. We did know of 'hey fever' and as far as foods went people just said, "Cucumbers don't agree with him. Milk doesn't agree with him." If you were afflicted with a food item that did 'not agree' with you, you just didn't eat that food. It wasn't until late in my growing up years that my grandmother expressed her opinion that allergies were a 'new ' thing. She said now everyone has allergies! It was pretty much the same way with cancer. I was in high school before I ever even heard the word 'cancer'. A friend's sister was diagnosed with cancer and we were all made aware that she would not live long. It was pretty much a death sentence. In those early days, the 1940's and 1950's , it was true. If you got cancer you were told to get your affairs in order because the end was near. The most talked about cancer was breast cancer. Saying the word' breast' was almost as verboten as saying the word' cancer'. Saying the words together was obscene. Actually ten or fifteen years ago when the 'breast cancer' was diagnosed the next thought you had was Death.
Think how far we have come! Women refused to accept the fact that that's the way it was and they got busy and insisted on more studies and more efforts be made to find cures and successful treatments for this malady. Breast cancers have decreased somewhat but it is no longer a death sentence when you get it. I have many friends that have had it and have lived through it.
Now, I have thoughts on cancer that may go against the present day conception of cancer. I pretty much object to the word survivor in regard to cancer. People use that term always to talk about people that have had cancer and have had it treated and have lived. Do we say the same thing for a person that has been treated for pneumonia,heart attacks , gall bladder surgery, bleeding ulcers and hundreds of other maladies? Why just call cancer survivors, survivors?
People are identified as people that have had cancer. Cancer does not define me! I refuse to call it "my cancer". It's just cancer and I happened to have had it.
I have survived many, many things, The Great Depression, WW Two, giving birth, Hysterectomy, shopping at Kroger's on Senior Day, teaching eighth graders and the list goes on. Yes, I did survive three internal cancers and a few external ones but still none of these things define me. I am who I am, and who I am may have been affected by these defining moments in my life but I don't think any one thing in my life made me what I am. I'm sort of a Mosaic.
I didn't mean to get carried away there. I have one more radiation over with. I now have just nine left. I still get breathless when they lock those locks down and I still feel monumental relief when they lift that mask off my face but I think I can do it nine more times!
Today one of the other techs did it because Jennifer was off today. She wanted to do it just exactly right so she delayed starting the machine until another person checked to see for sure that she had the settings right. Those extra minutes seemed like an hour. I really was relieved to hear the locks loosened. The other tech told me that it matters if the setting is just 3mm. off
My headache is worse at times but is actually feeling good right now. The bald area looks mighty big when I take the gauze off. I'll have to make adjustments.Oh,well. Ciao
Think how far we have come! Women refused to accept the fact that that's the way it was and they got busy and insisted on more studies and more efforts be made to find cures and successful treatments for this malady. Breast cancers have decreased somewhat but it is no longer a death sentence when you get it. I have many friends that have had it and have lived through it.
Now, I have thoughts on cancer that may go against the present day conception of cancer. I pretty much object to the word survivor in regard to cancer. People use that term always to talk about people that have had cancer and have had it treated and have lived. Do we say the same thing for a person that has been treated for pneumonia,heart attacks , gall bladder surgery, bleeding ulcers and hundreds of other maladies? Why just call cancer survivors, survivors?
People are identified as people that have had cancer. Cancer does not define me! I refuse to call it "my cancer". It's just cancer and I happened to have had it.
I have survived many, many things, The Great Depression, WW Two, giving birth, Hysterectomy, shopping at Kroger's on Senior Day, teaching eighth graders and the list goes on. Yes, I did survive three internal cancers and a few external ones but still none of these things define me. I am who I am, and who I am may have been affected by these defining moments in my life but I don't think any one thing in my life made me what I am. I'm sort of a Mosaic.
I didn't mean to get carried away there. I have one more radiation over with. I now have just nine left. I still get breathless when they lock those locks down and I still feel monumental relief when they lift that mask off my face but I think I can do it nine more times!
Today one of the other techs did it because Jennifer was off today. She wanted to do it just exactly right so she delayed starting the machine until another person checked to see for sure that she had the settings right. Those extra minutes seemed like an hour. I really was relieved to hear the locks loosened. The other tech told me that it matters if the setting is just 3mm. off
My headache is worse at times but is actually feeling good right now. The bald area looks mighty big when I take the gauze off. I'll have to make adjustments.Oh,well. Ciao
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